Life sure is funny sometimes! Well, at least that’s what I tell myself when everything seems to hit the fan at once and threaten my positive energy. A good cry is needed but now is not the appropriate time. See what I mean? Some days the universe is yours to take command of; other days it’s all you can do to not feel like the entire world is conspiring against you and you have no time or place to cry for joy or weep in sadness.
About a month ago, I wrote about exploring a new possiblility. Sadly, after many long research hours, I don’t hold out hope that it will get off the ground. It’s risky no doubt, but sometimes being first is the right thing to do. When I look at successful people, they tried and failed many times before being successful, however, I haven’t been able to convince more than half of the required people it’s the way to go. Without the support, it just can’t happen. On the plus side, a small window has opened and I am running with that. Still, it’s hard not feel dejected.
Add to this another scenario where I caved and let someone else’s commentary and opinion sway a decision I needed to make. That was the old me–going against what I felt is best in order to please others. My son even asked me why did I let someone change my mind? The fourteen year old gets it, not sure why other people don’t. I know what I need to do here. It won’t be easy but I know it’s the right thing.
If that’s not enough, things get crazy with friendships. Sometimes, whether intentional or not, we get thrown into the middle of clashes going on between others. I thrive in my own chaos, but I don’t need or want to add theirs to the mix. I just want to talk to all of you. And even though they probably won’t read this…I wish they would step outside of the drama and see it through my eyes. By not communicating, it’s making everything worse (and yes, we’ve covered how I have learned that the hard way). Sadly, not everyone thinks communication is important and chooses to live in assumption and without resolution.
When you thought it was over, add in the fact that sometimes you meet people that you connect with on so many levels but the timing is all wrong. Whether it’s to deepen a friendship or the potential to take things further…there is distance, work schedules, children, exes, just life standing in the way. Yes, if it’s meant to be it will work out, but there is that sense of defeat rearing its ugly head again.
In the midst of the sinking feelings, the frustrations and negativity there is always hope. I heard an interview with Bruce Springsteen this morning and he said (paraphrasing): “Those who are controlling or let themselves be controlled leave no room for love.” How profound is that? Certainly a new perspective about which to think.
Storms are temporary; strong women will not be controlled, broken or defeated!