“A healthy relationship is one where two independent people just make a deal that they will help make the other person the best version of themselves.”
Our purpose on earth has never been to tear one another down by hatred, ignorance, intolerance, fear, violence, addiction, lies, self-righteousness, ignorance, selfishness, put-downs, greed, etc.
Although the means to the end may be different for each person, we were all created to be in service to one another, to help one another flourish and to grow, to be filled with respect, love, compassion, hope and success.
Why do we humans make it so damn difficult on ourselves and others? My personal opinion is that, at the root of it all–we are afraid. FEAR! We fear the unknown and, rather than educate ourselves, or get to know others and gain a true understanding of them, we choose to live in fear which begets insecurities, which leads to withdrawal or allows ignorance to take over.
We fear what people will think if we come out of the proverbial closet as anything other than what a few so-called leaders (more like despicable people) in society deem as moral or ethical.
We fear our sexuality, sexual preferences and our kinks (yes, I said kinks) because someone may chastise or bully us for what and who we like. If you aren’t hurting anyone and it’s 100% consensual, have at it! No one truly cares if you like to be spanked, wear a cat costume, or use toys, etc., etc.). We fear the sexual discussions therefore we live in misery or turn to other outlets.
We fear standing up for our faith in God or our lack of faith. We fear when we are not good at something like money management, housekeeping, sports or out jobs to name a few. We fear our lack of education or knowledge but equally fear our intelligence and often “dumb ourselves down”. We fear death but also fear living an extraordinary life. We fear people who look different than us, whether by color, race, nationality, gender, sexual orientation, religion or politics. We even fear when others find someone with whom they fall in love as the perfect partner for them because they may be a different race, the same gender, fatter, skinnier, suffering from a disease, or a litany of other things. Shame on us!
We fear not being taken seriously enough or taken too seriously. We are afraid to offend so we stay silent which can often be the worst thing we could do. We fear that we don’t work hard enough so we become workaholics and miss out on the fun. We fear those who have too much fun as it seems they may be destined to live off the system.
We fear communication and emotional connection because we might hurt someone or worse yet–we might get hurt. So what? Life doesn’t go as planned, but taking that risk or leap of faith can lead to something amazing.
Ignorance is not bliss: ignorance breeds disengagement, apathy, disrespect and hatred. All you have to do is read the comments on any Facebook post, be it a happy or sad story. The amount of jealousy, hate and evil spewed by someone hidden behind the veil of a computer screen is heartbreaking.
Ignorance causes us to become followers instead of leaders. We fear, therefore we hide. We fear thinking for ourselves because we may just have to defend our position and oh, someone may no longer like us as much. We human beings will be the cause of our own destruction unless we stand up for ourselves and others.
We must learn to lose the fear and to support others in the same quest. We must be the change and light we want to see in the world. Along the way: Love whom you wish to love, be compassionate, seek knowledge, forgive a lot, lift others up, stand up and be heard. Live an extraordinary life as you work to rid the world of fear and create joy & peace!