Yesterday, a friend and I were having a discussion covering several different topics when she made a statement that caused an “ah ha!” moment. As soon as I stated my revelation out loud, she paused, thought for a moment and said you know what, you’re correct! That’s happened in my life too!
By now, I know you are wondering, “just what is this exciting piece of news?” Not sure I would call it stunning, but more of a revelation that a shift has been naturally occurring over the past few years. I am certain, if you stop and reflect for a moment, you may realize the same thing has happened to you.
As I have grown, both personally and professionally, as I have learned from mistakes and poor past decisions, as my patience may not be quite what it once was, as the planet gets crazier by the minute, I find my world shrinking slightly and it’s a very good thing.
I have met a lot of people in 51 1/2 years and have put up with a lot of b.s. Don’t get me wrong, some of my decisions were equally inappropriate and I have caused my own share of bitterness and disappointment and I will never not be accountable to those things.
What I have noticed, however, that as I heal and move forward on the journey, as I become better in tune with myself and learn to manage life, emotions, actions and responses, I no longer have as much tolerance for those who refuse to acknowledge their shortcomings, who are plain angry, who are narcissistic, who worry about everything, who fear everything, who won’t take risks or have adventure, who are close-minded and judgmental, who need to control every facet of their lives and the lives of others.
Instead, I notice the natural gravitational pull toward like minds, hearts and souls. I continue to meet amazing people through this blog, in my career, and through my children. Having an open mind and heart has allowed me to figure out very quickly who to let in to my circle. I have honed my B.S. detector and am weeding out those who will never earn the right to hear my story. On the other hand, I have found soul connections almost immediately.
Those who put time and effort into the daily journey of becoming better than they were yesterday stand out like a brilliant ray of sun. There is almost a visible aura around them that makes them attractive. I can now also begin to see those surrounded by very negative energy. As much as God tells us to love our neighbor as ourselves, some people you just know are out to harm you in some way. It may be physical, emotional, financial, mental; it may not even be intentional–they just have so much negative energy and are often in denial that you simply cannot be around them for the sake of your own sanity.
I am not saying to ignore those suffering from severe depression or physical & mental illnesses. Those people truly need our love. I am speaking about those who don’t see or refuse to see themselves as having any faults, failings or negative behaviors. I am speaking of those whose egos struggle to fit through a door and those who refuse to be accountable for their mistakes, actions or inactions.
As my network continues to grow, my preferred circle is smaller. I want to be surrounded by those who may be lost but are genuinely seeking; by those who exude light, laughter, and love. Those who know they will have chaos and darkness some days but will always let peace rule. Those who have had similar experiences so we can learn and grow together and are there for each other no matter what and no matter when the need arises.
My heart and soul is happiest with those willing to take chances, risks and have a sense of adventure. I love the people who want to (and aren’t afraid to) talk about everything and anything. I want open-minded people who will not always agree, but will have healthy debates and offer fresh perspectives without becoming defensive. Those who can respect one another even when there are vast differences in their lives. Those who can see past gender, skin color, sexual orientation, faults and flaws to see the person’s true core.
I have limited tolerance anymore at work for those who refuse to be accountable, for those who use their positions to manipulate others, for those who can’t throw away the box and consider new ideas. I will continue to fight the good fight, but it’s not always easy. Luckily, I have a very strong group of warriors with me who are often fighting the same battle.
There is power, wisdom and strength in a core group. I hope that you are finding, as you grow older, a true circle of people just as I have. Whether I have known them for decades, a year or months; whether I met them at school, a job, online or through another friend, I deeply love them and what each brings to my life. I am blessed and truly grateful. ❤
Let yourself feel the gravitational pull of your soul toward your soul mates and a true, unbreakable circle!