And then, one day, your world is turned upside down. Stunned, in shock, and heartbroken. You don’t know how to process the news. You get the word a loved one or dear friend has been killed. The details don’t matter much in this moment; the fact is, the person is no longer walking around on this planet.
This happened today.
My daughter learned of the tragic death of one of her high school friends. Even though they had lost touch in the past few years, there are so many memories. This young man (27) spent many hours at our house. Sometimes drama and chaos but always a ton of laughs. He was the first to call me Mamma-K.
He is gone from this earthly life far too soon. Possibly, he was just entering his stride in a career and/or relationships. This opportunity was taken away in a heartbeat. Life will never be the same for those left behind.
We could get wrapped up in the why, but that will eat us up inside. Of course, we will process all the stages of grief, each in our own time and in our own way. A permanent loss is never easy and there is nothing I can say that will change that. Quite frankly, I don’t want to change that process. It’s a unique lesson each of us must work through in life.
Living amidst loss is the perspective on which I wish to focus. There are a million cliches and I don’t want the perception to be that anyone’s life is reduced to something that simple. Living in the loss doesn’t mean we don’t get sad, angry, depressed, or lonely. It does mean that we can be grateful for the gift of a person’s life. Even more importantly, we can be thankful that a person was a part of our lives for five minutes or 50+ years. We can find comfort in cherished memories.
In tragedy, we are also reminded of how short and precious our time is here. Being alive is a special occasion so don’t save the wine or the good china for a holiday. Celebrate something or someone everyday!
Rather than arguing & fighting, stressing or worrying, consider making a concerted effort to count blessings, smile more often, laugh out loud daily, don’t always listen to what society tells you to do, kiss slowly, apologize, forgive. Have meaningful conversations and love deeply with all your heart. Be brave; take chances. In the blink of an eye, it can all change and the chance may never come again.
Life is too short for anger, jealousy and hatred. It isn’t wrong to move away from those whose toxic behavior harms us. It is wrong not to tell our true friends and loyal family how much they mean to us on a regular basis. We don’t need to send flowers when someone dies; we need to send them while a person is alive. If not flowers, let it be a dinner, a note, a small token, our time, our words that let them know how much they are appreciated and loved.
My motto is: I will be kind, I will live and love passionately and I will let those I care about know how I feel about them. In the blink of an eye, it can all be over, so I will take these chances daily.
If you aren’t doing it now, I hope that you will consider a perspective shift. Let go of the small and trivial and celebrate living with those around you. Don’t have any regrets on the day that person leaves this earthly life and have no regrets lying on our own deathbeds.
I love you my dear friends and family and I am grateful for all of you who read and/or follow my blog. I appreciate each of you. ❤
RIP “DMH” Prayers are with your family & friends.