Time to fess up! We all have them–a few embarrassing moments that we’d like to forget, but they just don’t seem to die. Now, I’m NOT talking about anything that was done to maliciously harm or embarrass you; those things are unacceptable. It’s those other silly things that seem mortifying at the time, but in reality, they’re quite humorous when you look back.
We all need a few laughs during this crazy time in the world, so–embrace the weirdness, and the silly stories; don’t be afraid to share them. After all, what’s a little embarrassment among good friends?
A Few Embarrassing Moments
Buses, Automobiles & Feet, Oh My!
I had been taking the bus to work for several weeks. After a productive work day, I headed out, chatted with a few friends and walked to normal bus stop. I hopped on and enjoyed the ride home. Arriving at my stop, I disembarked and was anxiously looking forward to the weekend. I begin the walk up the hill to get to my vehicle, but wait–there’s no car! WTH?
Angrily, I’m standing on the street, cursing up a storm in my brain (I’m sure a few choice words slipped out as well) and probably looking a bit ridiculous to anyone who may have been watching. I start the mile or so trek to my parents house, cursing the hills all the way.
Suddenly, the light bulb in my head is flickering like mad and now I’m bent over laughing (trying not to wet myself). I drove to work that day! How did I forget? It was such a pleasure to not be on a crowded bus, listening to music as loud as I wanted and singing along (with a voice that’s best part of a group or alone in the shower). How does that slip one’s mind?
I arrive at my parents, completely winded from the hills and from laughing so hard. Of course, they have company and I show up a hot mess, literally! I’m trying to get the story out, but you know when you get into a giggle fit? The words just don’t come and then there’s the ugly laugh-crying and coughing. I know you all now have a complete visual of what this looks like right?
I finally get the story out and now they’re all laughing hysterically and saying, “Only you Karen, only you!” Luckily, I was able retrieve my car later that evening (saving an entire weekend of parking fees is a good thing), but I can’t live that story down!
A Girl Walks Into a Bar…
After spending time on the phone with a friend griping about our bad days, we decided to meet at a local bar for a drink or two. I’ve been to this establishment many times and know the layout. Or, so I thought. My friend points out a table in the back corner and we head over with her leading the way. I took 5-10 steps and next thing I know, I’m on my knees and in quite a bit of pain. Guess who missed the step that takes you down to that section? Great, another twisted ankle! I tried to jump up as though nothing happened, but the ankle hurt so terribly that I started to crawl toward a chair so I could pull myself up. My friend didn’t see any of this initially, but realizes I’m not behind her and runs back to help.
In the meantime, (not knowing they would be there), my mom and her friends were having dinner. A lovely older women (with a delightful German accent), is saying, “Is that a little person [well she actually said midget, but we are using the correct term these days]?” The other ladies in the group look over and my mom starts laughing saying, “No, that’s my daughter!” She now comes over and of course there is a slight scene by this time. I get into the booth, they kindly bring me ice and two drinks, on the house. She still calls me that name each time she sees me. Another moment I won’t live down, but it does bring a lot of laughter.
That One Time, at the Frat House
No, no, it’s not what you’re thinking.
I grabbed two beers and started across the wooden floor so I could get downstairs. Why would the floor be wet, there was no one standing on it with any liquid and it really didn’t look too clean. But, lo and behold, it was indeed wet. I took a step and with the gracefulness and elegance of a beautiful swan, landed belly first and did a nice slide as if heading to first!
The two best things: I didn’t hit my face and miracle of all miracles, I did NOT spill the beer! A few people were coming up the stairs at the time and shouted “We give it a 10!”
A Few More Embarrassing Moments
That Other Time, at The Art Gallery
Coming in out of the cold, blustery, wet winter weather should always be a welcome, comforting moment. Not when you’re me. (By now you may be thinking, this girl is a klutz. You would not be wrong in that assessment, lol!)
One step onto the marble floor and down I went on my butt. Were there only a few people inside? Hell no, there were probably a hundred people milling about. At least a few came to my rescue, including the friends that could not stop laughing. Hey, if you’re going to have embarrassing moments, do it with style, grace, skill and always in front of many others!
The 3rd of July; Celebrate with a Bang or a Bump
For several years, the City of Pittsburgh celebrated the 4th of July on the 3rd. A weird little concept, but it worked because you could party in town with the fireworks, picnics, etc. and still have the next day for parades and family fun. One particular time, I went with friends to a house party on a hill known as Mt. Washington. You’ve probably have seen pictures at one time or another–it offers phenomenal view of the city!
Nightfall arrives and we head to the firework viewing area and watch a brilliant display. Afterward, we head back to the house to resume the party. Now would be a good time to state there was a pool in the back yard and a long narrow hallway covered in linoleum tile. You can probably already picture what happened next…
I decided to move from the living room to the front porch. On my third step, my foot hit the wet linoleum and I went right out the front door, my right leg is under me and I fell down with my weight on my ankle. Let me tell you: nothing sobers you up quicker than the pain from a severe ankle sprain slowly moving you back in to reality. The onlookers tried not to laugh, but let’s face it, falls can be quite hilarious when you’re the one watching. Took two guys to get me down the stairs, to the car and into my house. Luckily, it was back in the day when doctors still came to the office on a holiday (or even to your house). X-rays confirmed yet another severe sprain and it became the summer of crutches.
If you’re marking your score cards at this time:
- 5 sprained ankles (4 on right side; 2 severe)
- countless bruised knees
- 3 times–broken toes on right foot
- arthritis in right foot
- I know when the rain & cold is coming
- embarrassment–too many times to count
I could tell you more about falls, such as the one in the middle of the busiest streets in the city during lunch hour, the flip flop vs. cobblestones (resulting in one of those sprains) and several others, but who wants to hear more about falls. So, I’ll leave you with this:
Roller Coaster vs. Flip Flop
As you’ve figured out by the title of this section, I wore flip flops to the amusement park. I do not recommend this for several reasons. We were having a great day and my son & I finally rode the one coaster we hadn’t been on yet. I was exiting said coaster when my flip flop caught on the edge of the seat, went into the air, did a perfect double flip and fell (vertically) through that thin little space between the track and the ground. No one could have purposefully choreographed this masterpiece any better.
So I did what any self-respecting lady would do; I removed the other flip flop, held my head high and walked to the bench where the rest of group was waiting. Of course, no one could believe it and luckily my son was there to verify it. My dad, heads to the gift shop and purchases a lovely pair of flip flops for the most reasonable price of $10.00. We spend the rest of day chuckling about it.
But wait, it gets better.
One of the last rides we go on at the end of the night is that same coaster. I was extra careful when exiting the ride so as to not lose these coveted shoes. My son calls me, saying, “Mom, look!” There, on the railing, is one lonely, lost flip flop just waiting to be claimed. I proudly retrieved it and carried it like I just received the prize trophy. My group is now doubling over with laughter (and my dad, bless his heart, looks in the garbage can to see if the original remaining flip flop I threw away was still there). Come to think of it, his action may have been more embarrassing than losing the shoe on the ride, lol!
Maybe I’ll have to write a Part Two and include the night of the snowstorm. Readers can decide if another chapter is warranted.
In the meantime, here are lessons to learn:
- watch out for water, alcohol and walking; they don’t always mix well
- cobblestone streets and flip flops are never a good mix (at least if you’re klutzy)
- Linoleum, marble & water don’t mix well either.
- be careful in darkened places
- if you are going to fall, always stand up with grace & style
- always have fun, but watch your steps!
At the end of the day, don’t be afraid to share a few of your embarrassing moments. First, it shows others that they aren’t alone, and second, they provide some comic relief. Don’t be shy; will you share a story or two of your own?